Kenangan itu

Ya. Hari ini menjelma lagi. 14 Disember.

14th Dec is always something for me. This date give me a remarkable event that i won't forget for the rest of my life. Since 7 years ago. Yes. Even seven years passed, I didn't forget a bit.

What is that? What is the thing that make me remember so much? I rather not say. Biarlah perkara itu hanya dalam ingatan aku seorang. Biar aku sendiri memegang kejap rahsia itu. Tak perlu orang lain tahu.

Benar. Aku masih mampu menghadapi hari-hari mendatang dengan senyuman. Tapi, aku lah gadis yang masih hidup dalam kenangan silamnya. Yang masih mampu bersedih, yang masih mampu menangis tatkala perkara-perkara itu menjengah ke dalam fikiran.

Seperti mengerti perasaan aku, radio tadi memainkan 'pencinta wanita'. Mungkin bagi orang lain, lagu ini langsung tidak memberi makna, tetapi bagi aku, lagu inilah yang mengiringi, yang berputar seiring dengan kenangan itu. Betapa aku merasakan bahawa ini semua dirancang walaupun pada hakikatnya, semuanya hanyalah satu kebetulan.

p/s : I cannot forget you.

14 Disember 2006,
Shah Alam, Selangor.

11.12.13

Today is 11.12.13. I guess I'm lucky enough because I live at this beautiful time and has the chance to go through this day. Once in a lifetime. And this is the last date ever that the date's gonna be ascending like this cause next year is 2014 already and we've no month 13 in a year. So?

Ya. 2014 akan menjengah tidak lama lagi. Wuu. Sungguh sekejap masa berlalu.

Okay. About 11.12.13.

Macam biasa lah. I think all girls, will want to make this date special. we will want to do something on this day that we can remember in future.
"Hey, on 11.12.13 I did ..................."

And me included. I really really really want to do something very very special that i can remember for a lifetime but what is it? Please tell me. Grrr. Ughhh.

And today, as time passed, (1700 already) I have nothing special occurred yet. Today. No.
Except for waking up for class, and then have lunch and then do some cleaning in the bedroom, then a short nap, and here i am. Writing this.

Cuma tadinya kelas Bioinformatik 1. Hari ni hari Rabu, Amir macam biasa kelas dia dekat SPS. So, dia pick me up dekat blok and hantar pergi fakulti, and then leave for his class. And then at 10am, dia mesej I tanya tak habis kelas lagi ke? and I replied nak habis dah, because I thought the class will end like another 5 minutes, but the class went for like another 45 minutes. And there, he waited for me, calmly, in the car, waiting for me until my class finished, and then take me to the cafe to have the stomach filled. Ouchh.
Terharu.

Okay tak. Hehe.

And that's it. And as I'm writing this, he's been texting me. And in 15 minutes of the texting, he says "Love u syg" three times. Three different text. Over different issues. :)

Love you too sayang.

And then I don't know what to fill in this 11.12.13. Up until now, that's it.

Saje nak letak our very FIRST picture together. 

21

hey all. i'm turning 21 today. feeling? no, i don't feel good.
being all sad from morning till now. and will continue i guess.

so many untold story. tapi jemari ini tiada kekuatan untuk mencoretkan rasa hati, tiada kekuatan dari hati untuk dipindahkan kepada jari jrmari bagi menukilkan cerita yang tersimpan di dalam minda. juga hati, tiada rasa untuk meluahkan semua yang bermain di fikiran, tidak menginginkan rahsia hati menjadi perkongsian umum. biarlah apa yang tersirat di dalam sana kekal tersirat.

hanya mampu meluahkan apa yang mampu diluahkan. selebihnya terpulang pada hati sekuat manakah ia untuk terus membendung perasaan sendiri, sejauh manakah ia mampu untuk terus kuat menghadapi cabaran dan dugaan kehidupan.

aku hanya mampu berserah. biarlah semua yang baik baik buat diriku. Ya Allah. Ampunkan dosaku.

di hari ini, aku masih belum mempunyai walau sekeping gmbar untuk menjadi tatapan pada masa hadapan. kenapa? tiada rasa untuk sedemikian.

No.

I'm not feeling good.

STEP '13

Khidmat komuniti in Benut, Pontian, Johor.

I am supposedly going there on Friday, but, just got a message, and I'll be leaving tomorrow. Evening.
Why? Preparation of course.

But, I feel so uninspired about going there. Berat hatiku untuk melangkah pergi. Empat hari beb. Khamis Jumaat Sabtu Ahad.

What is that feeling deep inside the heart?
Only one people knows. Only one will understand.

Ya Allah. Tenangkanlah hatiku. Selamatkanlah perjalananku. Amin.

Weekend

What to do on weekend?

Mostly nothing. Saturday and Sunday isn't long. They come and poof, it's Monday already.

Sekarang pulak dah nak dekat-dekat akhir sem ni, banyak lah assignment dengan projek datang bergolek.
Sabtu Ahad duk buat assignment, kalau tak pun, rehatkan badan aje lah. Kalau keluar pun, kejap kejap je. Takde nya nak keluar lama-lama, one whole day outside the campus. Kalau ada pun, masa awal awal masuk degree dulu dulu je lah. Baru kenal dunia kan.

Sekarang? Dah third year ni, aktiviti waktu cuti hanyalah duduk bilik. Sampai waktu makan, keluar makan. Pastu balik bilik, sambung buat kerja atau pergi lepak lepak di bilik sebelah atau tidur. That's it. Kalau ada barang nak beli pun, lepas lunch, pegi la singgah Jusco kejap beli beli barang lepas tu balik.

Takde dah nak keluar pergi Skudai Parade main roller skate ke, nak pergi Danga City Mall ke main bowling. Takde. Takde.

Macam cakap tadi lah. Keluar makan then balik. Keluar pulak bila? Waktu makan yang seterusnyaa.

Cuma ada la jugak kadang-kadang tu, kadang-kadang je, pergi tengok wayang kejap lepas makan malam.

Macam yang ni. Hehe.

Ni, malam Sabtu hari tu keluar makan bertiga. Sebenarnya nak makan dekat hutan bandar, tapi sampai sana, rama sangat org duk berdiri tunggu turn so pusing pergi makan dekat setulang.

"Lepas ni nak pergi mana?"
"Kau ada keje tak?"
"Takde pun."
"Nak pergi bazar karat ke wayang?"
"Wayang laa. Aku malas jalan"
"Okay."

Oleh sebab-sebab perbualan di atas, sampailah kami ke JJ Bukit Indah. Tengok Carrie, kisah remaja perempuan yang ada kuasa supernatural. Boleh laa.

Sekarang dah jadi peminat popcorn pulak kalau masuk cinema. Dulu tak nak pun.

 Well, things change.

Life Journey

My life journey, what done and what is in the plan.

So, just now, I saw this one tweet on the timeline which says

"UPSR 5A → PMR 8A → SPM 9A → UNIVERSITY → PHD → ADA KERJA BESAR → GAJI BESAR → JUTAWAN → SYUKUR PADA ALLAH → #RT IF YOU WISH TO BE LIKE THIS"

I don't retweet this but of course this is what's on my head since I know what is life. Frankly speaking, I'm on the fourth level of the above arrow chart, without failing. Which means, my UPSR was 5A, my PMR was 8A and my SPM was 9A. I don't mean to talk big, but, really, these were my achievements.

(I deserve some right to brag about this right?)

After the secondary school (I was an MRSM student), I further for foundation in science at UiTM Puncak Alam. And after done with the foundation, here I am, a third year (already) degree student in UTM Skudai.

What next?

I am someone who dream big. Someone who will try hard to achieve what I want.

So, I have this plan.
My life plan.
A plan to be outstanding.

I'm hoping that the dreams will come true.

One fine day later.